Another edition of Micha Tales from Stephen Dodd, head cheese at Black Type White Paper, an Edmonton-based graphics design and Internet firm.
I'm going to claim that Stephen just makes all this stuff up. I mean... really! How plausible does any of this sound? (: Too plausible again, I'm afraid. I have no secrets!
Stephen should have plenty of opportunity to experience more Micha Tales as he's just recently married her.
In which old chaos is
uncovered and a new branch
of particle physics
Episode 1: Meeting the Wild Thing
Once upon a time, in the wild darkness of Mill Creek Ravine, Michelle and Stephen went Walking. With Michelle, Walking involves cheerfully marching through the Deepest Dark at 1:00 AM scaring all the muggers who had come down for a bit of peace and quiet.
It was then that we met the Wild Thing. Coming around the bend in the trail, there it sat smack just off-center in the middle of the gravel path. The Wild Thing loomed in the darkness like a strange animal - sitting, staring, waiting. There was something strange to this Thing- it's patience and undefined shape- but I saw Michelle's equally wild eyes evaluating our primal visitor.
So I grew concerned.
She grew concerned.
We stood, alone, in the middle of Edmonton, on the trail, in the darkness, immobile at 1:30 AM.
"It's not moving."
"It's gonna pounce."
"Why is it bushy?"
"Bushes don't grow in the middle of a gravel path."
"Maybe we should go around it?"
"Hello Wild Thing?"
"Ah! It just moved!"
"No it didn't..."
"Ah! Yes it did."
"I'm gonna toss a rock."
"Nice animal... shoo! shoo now!"
"What if it jumps?"
"I'll protect you."
"I'm gonna get a stick."
"I'm gonna poke it."
And so, with great courage and bravery, the mighty Wild Thing got poked with a stick which, unlike most Animeaux Savauge, and very much like most bushes, didn't bother it a bit.
Episode 2: Excuse Me, You Seem To Be Having a Normal Life
It was some years later, when on almost the very same spot in a uncommon burst of daylight, Michelle spontaneously accosted a young couple.
"Excuse me", she said, looming up out the blue, "would you go out with someone more intelligent than you?"
The young couple looked nervous - was it fear of literate muggers or a deeper fear that there is no safe answer, at least not in front of your date!
Episode 3: Chaos visits the 7-Eleven
The amazing thing about Michelle is that spontaneous chaos gravitates towards her without her intervention. Her simple presence is enough to disrupt the normal continuum and cause long sought and elusive reality ripples to spontaneously form without the need for billions in particle physics funding. Chaos theory could greatly benefit from some young, cute theorist applying for a research grant to follow Michelle around. (I understand the hourly rates are quiet outrageous, though.)
Now, when you go to buy a Super-Duper Slurpee, one generally expects the cashier to speak English - particularly if you spoke only English while in the store. This cashier, however, just-for-the-heck-of-it, defaulted to French - just for Michelle
"Bonjour! Salut! Comment-ca va?"
"Ummm", we said and then blurted simultaneously "tout vas bien" & "comme ci comme ca"
The cashier looked slightly disappointed but his smile brightened as he switched to his backup - German! Little did he know.
Poor guy. Michelle trounced his puny German and he had to run with his tail between his legs, degraded to serving in mere English.-Stephen Dodd
Michelle A. Hoyle
Micha Tales: #4, Created: September 16, 1999